Book Blitz and Giveaway: Dead Serious by Michael Malone

Dark Humor/Comedy

Date Published: 6/10/2020

“In the past five years, I’ve lost four grandparents, three uncles, two aunts, three cousins, five classmates, and my parents. Even a car died on me…”

Comedian Michael Malone’s life has been punctuated by tragedy. He’s been to over a dozen funerals, but just three weddings – two of which were for the same friend. No stranger to loss, Malone has had ample time to reflect on what it means to grieve, and how to move forward when you’ve outlived so many of your loved ones.

Dead Serious is a look inside Malone’s mind and journal since losing his parents; a dark-humored exploration of depression, suicide, grief, and religion. Designed to be opened and read at any page, this collection of journal entries, illustrated one-liners, and humorous musings combine to create an unorthodox self-help book for anyone who has ever lost someone close to them and doesn’t know where to go from here.

Comedy has always been the lens through which Malone chooses to view the world; a way to shine a light on the dark times so his audiences feel less alone, and less crazy, during their own hardships. Dead Serious offers readers his signature comedic comfort on all life’s ups, downs, and confusing in-betweens.

Michael Malone is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and film director who is currently based in Los Angeles, CA. He has been featured on Showtime, Comedy Central, FOX, Hulu, XM Radio, and his Amazon Prime special, “Laugh After Death” has over 2 million views. Michael is known for his dark sense of humor that breaks down the idiotic ways we deal with life, death, love, and sex.

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Quote from Brad’s foreword:

“If you have any doubt that the best humor comes from deep, dark places, this page-turner will make you a believer. Malone’s life journey, which he describes with blinding transparency and unforgiving irony leaves you laughing your ass off as he candidly exposes how he himself has risen from the bowels of depression and self-loathing to personal and professional success.” – Brad Garrett

About the Author

Michael Malone is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and film director who is currently based in Los Angeles, CA. Michael has been featured on Showtime, Comedy Central, FOX, Hulu, XM Radio, and his one-hour special, “Laugh After Death” is now streaming with over 2 million views on Amazon Prime. “Bits and Pieces” is Michael’s first book, but not his first written work. Michael has a monthly column in Face the Current magazines that based on his popular storytelling podcast, “Punched Up.” Michael is known for his dark sense of humor that focuses on breaking down the idiotic ways we deal with life, death, love, and sex.

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Teaser and Giveaway: Dead Serious by Michael Malone

Dark Humor/Comedy

Date Published: 6/10/2020

“In the past five years, I’ve lost four grandparents, three uncles, two aunts, three cousins, five classmates, and my parents. Even a car died on me…”

Comedian Michael Malone’s life has been punctuated by tragedy. He’s been to over a dozen funerals, but just three weddings – two of which were for the same friend. No stranger to loss, Malone has had ample time to reflect on what it means to grieve, and how to move forward when you’ve outlived so many of your loved ones.

Dead Serious is a look inside Malone’s mind and journal since losing his parents; a dark-humored exploration of depression, suicide, grief, and religion. Designed to be opened and read at any page, this collection of journal entries, illustrated one-liners, and humorous musings combine to create an unorthodox self-help book for anyone who has ever lost someone close to them and doesn’t know where to go from here.

Comedy has always been the lens through which Malone chooses to view the world; a way to shine a light on the dark times so his audiences feel less alone, and less crazy, during their own hardships. Dead Serious offers readers his signature comedic comfort on all life’s ups, downs, and confusing in-betweens.

Michael Malone is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and film director who is currently based in Los Angeles, CA. He has been featured on Showtime, Comedy Central, FOX, Hulu, XM Radio, and his Amazon Prime special, “Laugh After Death” has over 2 million views. Michael is known for his dark sense of humor that breaks down the idiotic ways we deal with life, death, love, and sex.

SCROLL UP AND GRAB YOUR COPY TODAY!

Quote from Brad’s foreword:

“If you have any doubt that the best humor comes from deep, dark places, this page-turner will make you a believer. Malone’s life journey, which he describes with blinding transparency and unforgiving irony leaves you laughing your ass off as he candidly exposes how he himself has risen from the bowels of depression and self-loathing to personal and professional success.” – Brad Garrett

Excerpt From the story “Tomorrow is Thursday”

My grandmother is ninety-two years of age and full of two things: shit and vinegar. Despite her age, she was both sharp as a whip and ornery as hell.

She had recently fallen on her back porch and broke her elbow, so her left arm was in a cast. She fell again a few weeks after that and sprained her right wrist. Because you know, grandmas be tripp’in.

She had both arms completely wrapped up in bandages. They just flapped around at her sides like a drunk penguin. Watching her eat lunch was equal parts heartbreaking and hilarious. She would hold her fork with one hand, steady it with the other, bend forward as far as she could, and sort of flip food into her mouth. She had the accuracy of a young Shaquille O’Neal at the free-throw line.

It was hard to watch, but my grandmother was stubborn and refused any help whatsoever. At one point, I made the mistake of scooting her pudding cup two inches closer to her seal-like grip, and she screamed at me, “You trying to feed me like a baby!?!”

“No,” I nervously responded. “I just wanted to help out.”

She pointed her head down like a bull, and in a low tone, she growled back at me, “I don’t need anyone’s help. I’m fine.”

My grandmother then proceeded to clap her hands together in a sloppy attempt to pick up her spoon. It slid across her slick plastic food tray like an air hockey puck. Banking off the side railings for a few moments before she cornered it, scooped up some pudding with it, and then tossed the food towards her hunched and widened mouth.

About the Author

Michael Malone is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and film director who is currently based in Los Angeles, CA. Michael has been featured on Showtime, Comedy Central, FOX, Hulu, XM Radio, and his one-hour special, “Laugh After Death” is now streaming with over 2 million views on Amazon Prime. “Dead Serious” is Michael’s first book, but not his first written work. Michael has a monthly column in Face the Current magazines that based on his popular storytelling podcast, “Punched Up.” Michael is known for his dark sense of humor that focuses on breaking down the idiotic ways we deal with life, death, love, and sex.

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Book Tour & Giveaway: Expose Yourself by Erin Louis

Expose Yourself

by Erin Louis

Genre: Non-Fiction, Self Help, Humor

After her first two books about the stripper world and her memoirs, Erin Louis offers us her new self-help book promoting critical thinking and self-confidence through humor, challenging insights, and her own true stories. A cross between “Fifty Shades of Grey” and “The God Delusion”, Ms Louis titillates as she enlightens readers. You will learn how to find the freedom to be yourself, find confidence to take risks, and change your life. This book will show you how. As she says, you don’t even have to get naked to do it, she’s done that for you.

**There will be a Kindle countdown deal starting on May 20th and ending May 27th, the starting price will be $.99 and will end at the original price of $4.99. !!** 

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Growing up in Southern California, surrounded by beautiful people, I struggled to find my identity. Every one else seemed to know who I was supposed to be, and how I was supposed to act, but their Idea of who I was didn’t quite fit with how I felt inside. I knew I was just different somehow. Expressing my true self came with criticism which caused me to question myself, and so began my search to find myself and the life I wanted to lead. Years of taking risks, enduring judgments, and self-doubt taught me that to be truly happy meant rejecting mainstream society’s idea of who I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to believe.

Somehow through all this, I have found the courage to show who I really am to the world. I hope to help lead others down the path to their own self-acceptance. My mission now is to help people live their best lives without the need to please other people who may be miserable in their own. Whether it be discarding dilapidated belief systems, unrealistic ideals, or simply the fear of judgment, finding the courage to be yourself can be daunting. By sharing my stories, I hope to show that you are ultimately in control of your own life, and that you alone have the power to control your own happiness. I hope to provide that little nudge you may need to tell the world to kiss your butt, because you are awesome just the way you are.

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Book Blitz: The Occult Persuasion and the Anarchist’s Solution by Lisa De Nikolits

The Occult Persuasion and the Anarchist’s Solution

by Lisa de Nikolits

Genre: Humorous Thriller

The Occult Persuasion and the Anarchist’s Solution is about a couple experiencing a crisis. The husband, Lyndon, loses his job as editor of a financial magazine. Neither are happy with aging. Lyndon has gotten by with charm and frozen emotions. The wife, Margaux, has no idea how angry she is with him for his detachment. It is her idea to sell the house and just travel. But he is not coping well with retirement, so he simply walks off a ferry in Australia and leaves her. He steals a cat (well, he steals an expensive SUV that happens to have a cat onboard) and he flees Sydney, ending up in Apollo Bay, a few hours south-west of Melbourne, where he falls in with a group of anarchists and punk rockers in a tattoo parlour, planning revolution.

Meanwhile, Margaux sits tight in Sydney with no idea of where her husband might be or what happened. She moves into the red-light Kings Cross area, befriending the owner of the hostel, a seventy-year-old ex-cop drag queen from Saint John, New Brunswick, and waits to hear from her husband.

When she learns that her husband is fine, she is consumed by wrath and she invokes the angry spirit of an evil nurse, a key player in the terrible Chelmsworth sleep therapy in which many patients died (historical fact). While Lyndon gets in touch with his original career ambition to become an artist and wrestles with anarchism versus capitalism, Margaux learns to deal with her rage.

A serio-comedic thriller about a couple who embark on an unintentionally life-changing around-the-world adventure, The Occult Persuasion and the Anarchist’s Solution is about the meaning of life, healing from old wounds, romantic love at all ages, and how love and passion can make a difference, at any age.

**Get the book for 50% off direct from the author HERE!**

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Lisa de Nikolits is the internationally award-winning author of nine novels (all Inanna Publications). No Fury Like That was published in Italian in 2019 by Edizione Le Assassine as Una furia dell’altro mondo. Her short fiction and poetry have also been published in various anthologies and journals internationally. She is a member of the Mesdames of Mayhem, the Crime Writers of Canada, Sisters in Crime, The Australian Crime Writers, The Short Fiction Mystery Association and the International Thriller Writers. Originally from South Africa, Lisa de Nikolits came to Canada in 2000. She lives and writes in Toronto.

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Release Blitz: Please Return To: Toby Solando by Frank Morelli

PLEASE RETURN TO: Book #2

Middle Grade Fiction; Humor; Action; Adventure; Epistolary; Middle Grade

Publisher: INtense Publications LLC

Published Date: March 27, 2020

Toby Solano is the new kid in town. No one in Mapleton knows he exists, which is tough to swallow for a boy who descends from Lucha Libre wrestling royalty. Back in El Paso, Toby could snap his fingers and the seas would part as he walked the hallways at his old school.

But when his dad gets body slammed into submission and his career goes into a tailspin, Toby decides to take his anger out on his classmates, which gets him kicked out of school and shipped off to Mapleton with his mom.

Toby hates his new town, he hates his classmates and, most of all, he hates Mr. Finkelstein. But when he finds his teacher’s missing journal under the tires of a moving truck, the drama of the famed Mapleton Wrestling Federation opens wide for him. Armed with a journal’s-worth of wrestling lore, will Toby be able to build friendships and help the Mort-tician regain his title? Or, will he fall back on his old ways and bully himself right out of Mapleton Middle School? Find out on the slightly-wrinkled pages of Please Return To: Toby Solano.

About the Author

Frank Morelli is the author of No Sad Songs, a 2019 YALSA Quick Picks nominee and winner of an American Fiction Award for best coming of age story. The first book in his debut middle grade series, Please Return To: Norbert M. Finkelstein, was released in September 2019. His fiction and essays have appeared in The Saturday Evening Post, Cobalt Review, Philadelphia Stories, and Jersey Devil Press. A Philadelphia native, Morelli now lives in High Point, NC where he has been a classroom teacher for almost twenty years. He holds an MFA in Fiction from National University and thinks dogs are the most respectable beings on the planet. Connect with him on Twitter @frankmoewriter or on his website frankmorelliwrites.com.

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Book Tour and Giveaway: Love In The Suburbs by D.E. Haggerty

About Face

Love in the Suburbs #1

by D.E. Haggerty

Genre: Romantic Comedy

My grandma is trying to hook me up.

To be painfully specific, my seventy-five-year-old grandmother thinks a little hanky-panky would cheer me up. Direct quote. Since I’m currently living with her, I can’t escape the endless line of grandchildren of friends who keep ‘dropping by’ for dinner. Literally, I can’t escape. I can barely manage the trek to the dining room at this point.

While Grandma’s determined to find me a husband, I’m determined to learn how to walk again so I can walk away from her matchmaking skills. Spoiler alert: She has no matchmaking skills.

But then I get a brilliant idea. I can fake date my physical therapist. Only he wants a real date. Gulp. A real date with me? Is he for real? I’m no longer the stylish girl with the glamorous job. Now, I’m a woman with a shattered leg and a scarred face.

If I’m going to learn to live with my new reality and give love a chance, my attitude needs to do an about-face. Easier said than done.

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At Arm’s Length

Love in the Suburbs #2

Jackson Schmidt is the biggest jerkity jerk ever. They should totally erect a statue to commemorate his jerkityness, jerkdom— Uggh! There are literally not enough words for ‘jerk’ to depict the man.

Unfortunately, Jackson is also the most gorgeous specimen of manhood I’ve ever laid eyes on. One look at him and I want to jump and climb him like a tree. But whenever he opens his mouth, his status as the biggest bastard on the planet is immediately reinstated. It’s impossible for the man to say anything remotely nice – at least not to me. To my best friend, though? To her, he’s Mr. Perfect Gentleman. Did I mention he’s carrying a torch for my engaged best friend?

My libido does not give one flying hoot Jackson is a dick who has a crush on my bestie. Nope. Not at all. No matter how much of a schmuck the man is – and trust me he takes schmuck to the next level – I continue to pant after him like a nerdy freshman crushing on the prom king. If I want to keep my sanity, I’m going to have to keep Jackson at arm’s length.

Sanity is totally overrated.

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Hands Off

Love in the Suburbs #3

I am done with men. D – O – N – E. DONE!

I don’t care how much billionaire Roman Cadwell pushes (and, oh boy, does the sexy man push ALL my buttons), I am not dating him. Especially not when he’s wearing a golden band around his ring finger. I do not get involved with married men. Call it my line in the sand. If a man can’t be faithful, I want not one single thing to do with him.

But what if Roman isn’t really married? What then? No, no, no. I will not fall into Lying McLiarson’s trap.

Only every time the man touches me, my body forgets I’m a good girl and wants to give in. Hands off, Mr. Lying Pants, before I forget I’m a good girl.

Although – no one said I had to be a good girl forever.

Author’s Note: This romantic comedy contains absolutely, positively NO cheating. None. But it does have a whole bunch of witty dialogue and a super sweet happily ever after. And maybe more drama than the author originally intended. What can she say? The characters have minds of their own.

Hands Off is book 3 of the Love in the Suburbs series but can be read as a standalone.

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I grew up reading everything I could get my grubby hands on, from my mom’s Harlequin romances, to Nancy Drew, to Little Women. When I wasn’t flipping pages in a library book, I was penning horrendous poems, writing songs no one should ever sing, or drafting stories which have thankfully been destroyed. College and a stint in the U.S. Army came along, robbing me of free time to write and read, although on the odd occasion I did manage to sneak a book into my rucksack between rolled up socks, MRIs, t-shirts, and cold weather gear. After surviving the army experience, I went back to school and got my law degree. I jumped ship and joined the hubby in the Netherlands before the graduation ceremony could even begin. A few years into my legal career, I was exhausted, fed up, and just plain done. I quit my job and sat down to write a manuscript, which I promptly hid in the attic before returning to the law. But practicing law really wasn’t my thing, so I quit (again!) and went off to Germany to start a B&B. Turns out running a B&B wasn’t my thing either. I polished off that manuscript languishing in the attic before following the husband to Istanbul where I decided to give the whole writer-thing a go. But ten years was too many to stay away from my adopted home. I packed up again and moved to The Hague where, in between tennis matches and failing to save the world, I’m currently working on my next book. I hope I’ll always be working on my next book.

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Review: Made For Love by Alissa Nutting

Made for Love by Alissa Nutting
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Hazel has left her husband who she is determined to believe is going to kill her. Her husband Byron Gogol is CEO of Gogol Industries and his favorite test subject is Hazel. Showing up at her dad’s trailer she finds his new sex doll wife Diane and her father’s antics at time are too much to take. Will Hazel escape her husband and find her own path to happiness?

At times this was really funny as the story progressed I found it too be a little much at times. I wanted to like this but had a hard time with a few moments in the story.

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Book Blitz: Shopping For A Baby’s First Christmas by Julia Kent

Shopping for a Baby’s First Christmas
Julia Kent
(Shopping, #15)
Publication date: November 27th 2018
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

My mother wants all her kids and grandkids to spend Christmas Eve at her house and wake up on Christmas morning together.

Sounds reasonable, right?

And it would be.

If it weren’t my mother.

My husband, Declan, is protesting any involvement, though he’s openly intrigued by the idea of claiming his territory by suggesting we have sex in my childhood bed.

And by ‘suggest,’ I mean make a series of really hot offers that make me whimper when I have to say no.

Wait – why am I saying no again?

Mom has turned her house into a Christmas showcase that makes Frankenmuth look like the picked-over clearance rack at Target on December 26. You know those crazy people on Etsy who make felted gnomes out of belly button lint and use … a certain kind of hair… to make thatched roofs on little decorative elf homes?

Those people are saner than my mother.

There is no force of nature stronger — and more emotionally volatile — than a fifty-something grandmother determined to create holiday memories.

Wait a minute. Maybe there is.

My husband.

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—

EXCERPT:

“Mmmmm,” I hear myself purring as I open my eyes in the big king-size bed at our Victorian B&B here in the Berkshires. A bed that I can stretch out in, because I smell coffee from afar and Dec isn’t between the sheets.

Neither is our seven-month-old daughter, Ellie.

I have the entire bed to myself. I might be married to a billionaire, but when you’re the mother of a clingy baby, this right here is true luxury.

A whiff of cinnamon accompanies that coffee and now I wonder if I’m dreaming. My naked body rolls against the high-thread-count Egyptian cotton and my legs are smooth. As I stretch, I realize my nipples are free. No one is touching me.

This must be a dream.

In real life, there would be a baby babbling “Da da da da da” in tones that either mean happiness, terror, hunger, or plain old pay-attention-to-me-now-because-I-am-the-center-of-the-universe, you-underling.

But not now.

In real life, there are always busy fingers exploring my ears and pulling my earrings and poking into my my mouth when I try to talk on the phone.

And in real life, little teeth bite down, hard, when my milk runs out.

So I must be dreaming, because as I open my eyes, a handsome, hot, endlessly naked man is smiling at me, hair tousled over his forehead as he holds two steaming mugs of coffee and says in a low, happy voice, “You’re up!”

Author Bio:

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge. From billionaires to BBWs to new adult rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every contemporary romance she writes. Unlike Shannon from Shopping for a Billionaire, she did not meet her husband after dropping her phone in a men’s room toilet (and he isn’t a billionaire). She lives in New England with her husband and three sons in a household where the toilet seat is never, ever, down.

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Review: Until Forever by Mary B. Moore

Until Forever by Mary B. Moore
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Cole knew the minute he saw Ebru she was his one, his only but he didn’t want to be tied down for reasons he never told anyone else. It was painful being in Ebru’s presence and with a few misconstrued words he kept pushing her away. However, after the temptation became too much Cole decided to lay it all out for Ebru.

Ebru knows everyone thinks Cole is the big airheaded goofball he acts like but there is also a sweetness to him that only she sees. Ebru is willing to take a chance with Cole but she has trust issues stemming from her past and Cole is determined to help her work through them. When his past though comes back to haunt him though will Ebru be willing to stand by his side?

This was the funniest out of all of them so far. I loved the beginning to middle but once Cole and Ebru got serious it took a different tone a little bit. He is still adorable and full of fun, but Ebru you can’t quite figure out she is more go with the flow. Great story, full of laughter.

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Review: The Blacksmith Queen by G.A. Aiken

The Blacksmith Queen by G.A. Aiken
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

With the Old King’s death, his sons have started off their quest to take the throne by killing one another and seeking out the prophesied Queen who is but a farm girl. Keely Smythe is more though she is a Blacksmith and when the Amichai and her long lost sister arrive claiming that Beatrix is the Queen from the prophesy all hell breaks loose. Caid, a surly man who Keely knows there is more too catches her interest but her main focus is protecting her family. The prophesy though is not all it seems to be and Keely finds herself in the brunt of everything swirling around her.

There is so so much more to this story that I cannot even delve into. Keely is a heroine you truly want to know. Caid is perfect for Keely. Filled with humor, action and several surprises. I would reread this book in a heartbeat. Thoroughly entertaining.

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